Happy Birthday Chels

Despite what happened with her dad, I know that she has brought me immense pride and joy since she came into my life.

I had spent the last few weeks trawling old albums and finding photographs and scanning them to showcase how much she has grown, but sigh..... my hard disk crashed and I'm left with these. But in their small way, it shows my little princess as she smiled her way into the hearts of everyone who knows her.

Chels in K1, she would have been about 4 plus in this pic

She just brings so much joy and hope to me with her smiles

Flamenco dance costume for her K2 graduation, Still remember how proud I was when she was chosen to make the thank you speech for the whole graduating class. And she nailed the whole speech without forgetting a single word.

First day of school at P1. She was so nervous that day, and now she is a pro at school.

Her 7th birthday.

Her 8th Birthday.

I hope to take some more pics of her 8th birthday celebration on Friday and load them up soon.

The Point of No Return

Chels will be turning 9 in two weeks. And as I had promised the ex that we will still include him in the important events in her life, I asked Chels to call him and ask if he had planned to do anything for her or with her.

Major major mistake, its either I had some memory lost or I was trying too hard to be nice. How could I have forgotten the man who had dismantled the water feature just days before her 8th birthday to bring back to his mom's house. This was despite my mom, someone from the older generation reasoning with him that Chels had invited a few friends over for her 8th birthday and it would look weird to have that empty table sitting at the entrance of the house. Anyway, it was either my memory lost or me being magnaminous.

So Chels calls him and asks if he had any comments about what to do for her birthday, he shoots her many questions she was unable to answer and the poor girl, tongue tied had passed the phone to me to talk to her father.

I went straight to the point and asked him what he intended to do for her birthday and he asked me "What day is it?" YES!!!!! You read right, he asked me what day is it. I kind of lashed out at him and asked him what kind of father he was among other things.

So to cut it short I told him I wanted to keep it simple this year and just have a meal and gave him the option to join us. He said he had to think about it. A day later he SMSed me and said ok, he will come and pay a portion of the dinner bill.

When he came this weekend, He told Chels that he will not be paying anything for the dinner and will also not buy her a cake. My mom was really shocked, she asked him whether it was because he didn't want to involve the family and offered to not join the dinner. He still refused to answer and left. After two hours, he calls and says he will join the dinner and after another two hours SMSes again to say he won't.

Well, that's the kind of man he is, well at least without him in the picture I can just plan a nice meal for ourselves. What scares and irritates me the most is that  there is still 2 weeks to her birthday, how many more times is he going to call to say he wants to come or doesn't want to come.

My parents were royally pissed with him and told me to put my foot down. Since he already said twice he won't be joining, do not allow him to join again. If he did, he'd end up spoiling everyone's day anyway. I really hope he keeps to his word and not turn up to spoil the fun on Chels' birthday.

What an Absolutely Lousy Day

I'm actually very thankful that I managed to get this job at a leading bank and I get paid just rnough to get by each month. But working for someone with no morals and is foul mouthed just gets to me sometimes.

I know I can look at it as none of my business, but to work for someone whose first emails of the day are all his private stuff, for example -

• has the insurers paid my claim? (which incidentally he is cheating on as he claimed from more than one party),
• has the book I ordered (for friend, daughter etc) arrived?
• has immigration approved my cousin's stay for a longer period?

Whilst more important emails like approval of expenses, approval of million dollar loans are all "forgotten" until a second, third or fourth reminder is sent.

He harps and raves and calls everyone f*^king morons and f*^king idiots when they refuse to pay claims for his children's immunisation which is not covered by company insurance. Although the reimbursement would have just been a measly sum of S$10, he chases me for it like his next meal depended on it. What makes me mad is that this is the same person whose one month salary is my one YEARS salary, who bought a coffee table that costs the same amount as my whole living room's furniture, the cost of his two cars can buy over my whole house. And yet he raves about S$10!!!!!!!!

It's just so unfair... But I need the job and so I must TOLERATE. Sigh...................

Ramblings

I can't believe I've not blogged for such a long time, how long I've neglected this blog. Its not like I'm that busy that I do not even have time for anything. If I made the effort, I could put in a post a week or maybe more.

Its not like I have nothing worthwhile to write about. I have some great pics of Chels and me to show, I won star letter in a local magazine and the prize is a one night weekend stay at a VERY good hotel. I did some parent volunteer work at Chels's school and there are some interesting moments there too.

Maybe I lack the discipline and or maybe I'm just lazy. But whatever it is, I realise that this blog is something I do not want to let go of. I realise that this is where I had penned down some of my thoughts when I was at my most depressed and this is also where I got the support during those moments.

I really want to continue and I guess I just have to start from scratch again. I wonder if I should sign up with some other blog provider or just continue here.

To push myself, I'm announcing that I intend to do something really special for Chels and I hope it will be ready in time for her birthday on the 2nd of November.

Wish me luck.

Photos

A pic with Chels at the Swan lake, DC had brought us there last Saturday, he promised to bring Chels to feed the swans.

I was coaxed into taking a pic with this corny pose.

Chels and me at the Swan Lake,

A pic of my mom and Chels taken together with the Member of Parliament in our area. Chels was receiving the award for being in the among the top students in the constituency. This was taken at the end of last year, and I never had the time to upload it